Evil Swimming Coach–Boy, when they started handing out school spirit, you never even got in line, did you?

Buffy–No, I was in line for ‘shred of sanity’.

In non-Buffy related news, I’m making pretty good progress on the manuscript.? Well, all except for the part where, in? her frantic? attempt to? purge the? two minuscule raindrops from her coat (because she might have melted otherwise), Skye proceeded to burrow the comforter? right into the back of my laptop.? Which would have been fine, had I not been peering closely at the screen at that exact moment, looking for a file.? The end result?? Said laptop crashed down and nearly severed my nose from my head.? ? There was blood and everything.? I’m okay today, but my nose seriously is still a little crooked.? And painful.? And I have to laugh at the irony.? Skye is, like, the only halfway well-mannered Ridgeback I own.? If she ends up being the one to have broken my nose, which survived? countless alteration attempts from Seger, Sunni, Fergie, et al., it’s going to be pretty darn funny.? All except the part where I look like I went two rounds with Mike Tyson, that is.? I guess on the plus side, my ears are intact.

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I realize that Ridgebacks love to sun, but surely there should be some boundaries involved?? Like, say,? no putting your stinky hound dog body on the same surface where I might eat my lunch?? I mean, God forbid she has to be in the yard for even a millisecond without at least a drop of sunshine.

Next she’ll be demanding I actually polish the sucker before I let her out in the morning.

You’d better watch it, hound dog.? Or else I’m moving your sun-lovin’ tushy to Seattle, home of the dreary gray drizzle.? Nothing like trying to? satisfy that UVA jones? on some? damp chilly glass.

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….of course, it’s easy to be okay when your station is Queen.

At least? Her? Royal Fergieness? was gracious enough to? allow hubby a blankie while he broke his back on the floor.? Perhaps in the future I can persuade her to toss him a pillow as well.? And while she’s at it, maybe pass a decree mandating the use of matching socks.

From my angle, it’s hard to tell if we’re looking at Ridgebacks or kangaroos.? Although, I bet kangaroos inflict less damage on remotes and shoes.? (Yes, Zag, I’m talking about you.? Even if you are a black nose.)

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Unless, of course, Ridgebacks typically express their sensitivity by eating your favorite pair of shoes.? Because that’s what happened here.? There I was,? practically dying from some preschooler-induced illness consisting of the production of copious amounts of snot and feeling hotter than Brad Pitt in a loincloth? , and what does Skye do?? Why,? in her extreme empathy for her? nearly dead master, she mangles my fabulous kitten-heeled, goldish-bronze, go-out-and-party sandals beyond any hopes of recovery.

Or maybe I just jinxed myself by talking about how she’s the good one in the house.? I can hear Fergie snickering all the way from Colorado, while Grandmama Shani is giving her the paws up from the Bridge.

So tell me–how does she manage to look so innocent:

while performing deeds of such? vile depravity:

All I can say is, she’d better not think she’s crawling into my bed tonight with the reek of her? hideous dead shoe breath.? Sole killer.

One day, she’s basking in the sun without a care in the world:

The next, disaster strikes in the form of an absent hot tub cover:

It’s like the epitomy of the Project Runway slogan, only in reverse: One day you’re out, and the next–you’re IN! And I guess Skye is a glass half full kind of girl, because this is the second time she’s made a splash and yet she’s already back in the saddle, sunbathing on the hot tub again.

Or maybe she thought we needed a little excitement around here, since Fergie and her crazy brother Leo are visiting “Nana” in Colorado. You see, my family is entirely insane and to ensure we demonstrate this adequately, every few months my dad takes various dogs on interstate road trips between California and Colorado. I wouldn’t be surprised if a clause of “Do you, Jerry, solemnly swear to rent a variety of minivans and drive the family hounds thousands of miles each year to different households, purchasing them burgers along the way and letting them sleep on the hotel beds with nary a complaint, so long as you both shall live?” was added in to my parents wedding vows. I guess that would involve some special telepathic gift on my mom’s part seeing as how we didn’t have Ridgebacks until after I graduated college. Which could explain why I was always getting busted in high school before I even got the opportunity to do anything wrong.

Anyway, we said our good-byes on Saturday. Leo was in his crate less than a minute before wreaking havoc on his bedding:

And Connor says good-bye to Fergie:

It’s really nice to share the chaos for awhile but I have to admit—we miss our little Ferganator.

“Hound dogs make the best friends”

Skye:? Mom should be banned from Target.

Fergie:? I sure hope this visor’s tasty.? Then again, I eat beer cans.

Peanut:? I’m pretty sure I like visors about as much as I like bunny ears.? Notice my demented look?? Oh wait—I always look like this.

Peanut:? Getting angry now…..

Peanut:? Wait a second—aren’t you the one who put this thing on my head?

Peanut:? Yeah, that’s right—-RUN!

? Well, that’s not 100% accurate.? Actually, my baby started solids when we were in Utah, before we got to Colorado.

Here I was, so proud of myself for delaying solids.? Not that I started Connor super early—he pigged out on his first bowl of rice cereal right at six months.? But this time, I wanted to be more patient.? I waited.? And waited.? And researched.? I carefully read all the websites and articles, and then picked out a few things to start with.? No overly processed grains for my little girl, no sir.? I was going to start with wholesome organic avocado, bananas, and maybe a little sweet potato.? And I was going to wait until around eight months.

So, what happened in Utah?? Well, apparently, Finley wasn’t interested in waiting.? ? Basically,? she decided to take matters into her own little hands and feed herself.? ? Of course, her choice? didn’t quite make my list of top ten super baby foods.

Instead, Finley’s first foods were comprised of this:

In case you’re wondering, “this” is a dog toy that Fergie won lure coursing.? Fergie, being the dainty little hound that she is, promptly destroyed it in about three seconds flat once we got back to the hotel room.? Of course, the fuzzy stuffing exploded everywhere, and I obviously missed a few of the fuzz balls.? So Finley just helped herself.? Yum.

She followed that meal the next day with a bit of paper, at which time I threw in the towel and decided to start her on real solids.? You know, the kind she might actually be able to digest.

Here are a few photos from Colorado of Leo and Fergie helping “clean her up” after she dined on some bananas.? ? So thoughtful of them.

? Oh, and for the record?? This is what Finley thinks of avocado:

I guess the dog toy was tastier.