I have a confession to make.? Being semi-new to the blogosphere, I’m not 100% certain what a “meme” is.? Or, for that matter, how to pronounce it.? Hubby says he thinks it’s pronounced “meem”.? ? But it could be? “Mee Mee”, or “May May”, for all I know.? Hopefully, somebody will enlighten me soon.?

From what I can gather,? a meme? is sort of like? a bloggers’ chain letter, only way cooler.? And less annoying.? Bascially, its an idea that spreads from blog to blog, in hopes of keeping us all entertained.?

So, in the interest of being a team player, I’ve decided to start my own chain.? For all you Miss Manners bloggers out there, I apologize in advance if I am performing some gi-normous meme-related faux pas.? I plead complete ignorance.? And the 5th, if that helps.

My idea is pretty simple.? See,? I love being a stay-at-home-mom.? Really, I do.? But there are? days when I can actually feel my brain shrinking inside my skull, and times when I can literally see the redundant gray matter bits flying out of my ears, no doubt in search of a more? stimulating environment.? I mean, my kids are wonderful and amazing, and of course,? as Rule Number One in the Mom Handbook dictates, I believe them to? be the most? highly intelligent children on the planet.? However, I’ve been rudely awakened to the fact that even the most? clever four year-olds? enjoy conversing with appalling frequency on topics like? human feces, flatulence, and the private parts, or lack thereof, of Thomas the tank engine.

So, in an effort to? inflate my? gray matter? back to its original dimensions, I’ve come up with something I hope will be a little more intellectually-stimulating than, say, blowing? tooting noises on my arm.? Yes, I’ve set the bar that high.

My idea?? Well, it all comes back to memes.? I realized that I’d seen the word “meme” on multiple occasions, but never bothered to ascertain its true definition.? In? my pre-kid era, I used to mark any rogue words I’d happen upon in books, then hunt down their meaning with the? determination of a…well…hunter.? (At this point, I feel obligated to mention I imbibed a? couple too many margaritas last night. ? Which is to say I had one.)? Nowadays?? I simply ignore the offending letters,? hoping, I suppose, ? that? one day? the? definition will be prominently featured in an episode of Blue’s Clue’s.? And it’s hopeless, really, because all I can think about when I watch that particular cartoon is, “Gee,? I wonder how often? Steve (or Joe) washes that? hideous shirt?? Is he trying to teach my son to be slovenly?? ? And, for that matter,? can? the creators really hate fashion that much?”? And then I digress into thoughts of what might happen if Steve hooked up with Stacey and Clinton from “What Not to Wear”, and how it? would make for? a ridiculously short episode, because? there are only so? many ways you can examine one shirt in a 3-way mirror, and by then, even if Blue was screaming “Tumescent!” at the top of his lungs while running naked through the streets, I wouldn’t notice.? Although, come to think of it, Blue’s always naked.? ? Which is a valid choice when considering poor Steve’s wardrobe.

So, with no plausible chance at reclaiming my brain via Blue’s Clues, I figured I’d have to try something else to regenerate my neurons.? Thus, my Word Quest begins…?

How it works:

First, I’ll pick a word that baffles? me? or that? I’ve absolutely never heard before in conversation, and? make it? my? slave? For the next few days, I’ll take that word, one that has nothing to do with excrement or wee wees, thank you very much, and use it routinely when out and about.? I can whip it out at the grocery check-out line.? Insert it casually into some playgroup gossip.? Impress that snooty preschool parent (although snooty really doesn’t fly at the world’s cheapest preschool).? Even throw it out there at the BlogHer mixer (or at least I? could have, had “Procrastination” not been my middle name).? ? Basically,? I’ll keep using? my word? until I’ve completely tamed it into submission.? Then, on? my blog,? I’ll give the definition, use it in a sentence, and then post about any random reactions? I got from friends and strangers when uttering it.? And I’m tagging five other bloggers to do the same.? Once? they’ve finished posting, they’ll tag five more, and so on.

I figure even if? I’m lazy and apathetic,? I’ll learn one new word.? And if? I’m feeling especially? motivated?? Heck, I can read the blogs of my tag-ees, and oversaturate my poor brain with even more brand spankin’ new wordage.? And just think–we’re upping the vocabulary ante for bloggers and readers alike.? We can all grow our brains together in one huge collaborative effort, and save? ourselves from the insidious, mind-melting? effects of neglect.? And sleep deprivation.? And never, ever? reading any books with words over one syllable.

So, I’ll? include a list of words below, just in case you’re feeling stymied (see that?? I’m getting in the mood already).? But feel free to find your own.? Ultimately, its your brain at stake, and therefore, your choice.

Here are my tag-ees:

Swistle? ? ? ? ? ? ? Moo? ? ? ? ? ? IdentityMixed? ? ? ? ? ? WannabeHippie? ? ? ? ? ? ? Playful Professional? ? ? ? ? ? Stimey

(Note:? In case you’re wondering, yes, I can count to six.? Even with one margarita in me.? I listed one extra above because Playful Professional may? be on a blog hiatus for awhile)?

And, by the way—if you’ve been tagged, it basically means one of two things:? 1) from what I’ve gathered from your blog posts,? it seems? like you might enjoy? some mental exercise, or, 2) from what I’ve gathered from your blog posts, it seems like even if you think this is the mother of all stupid ideas, you might take pity on me.? ? Oh, and there’s the third cateogry as well, in which I shamelessly remind you how I fostered and cared for your poor homeless rescue dog before she went to live with you forever, so now, you should feel sufficiently indebted to me to do this bloggy thing.? (And in case that wasn’t pointed enough, yes, IdentityMixed, I am guilting persuading? you into participating!)

Here’s a list of a few words? I found in? my search:?

abrogate, obdurate, lachrymose, crepuscular, blunderbuss, soporific, rapacious, boreal, pelagic, clathrate, rapprochement, hegemony, gyre, apostate, manse, misoneism, tohubohu, nocebo, acritochromacy,

? And here’s a great Word-A-Day resource to look up your own.

One word I considered from the above website was “coprolite”, which is basically a fossilized terd.? Then, I remembered my vow to shun all things poopy and their derivatives, so I continued my search.

And finally settled on two words.? Yes, I know I was supposed to pick just one, but being the indecisive person that I am, that really wasn’t in the cards.? And just as a tantalizer, I’ll give you the words, Brobdingnagian and callipygian.? And the fact that they have to do with size and bottoms.?

And now, only time will tell if I’ll be able to use them in public without snorting iced tea out my nose.? I suppose so long as it isn’t brain cells, I’ll be making an immense improvement……..

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So, I was just surfing the blogosphere (okay, call it procrastinating, if you must), and came across Swistle’s site.? Apparently, she’s running a “Pay It Foward” contest.? No, you don’t have to run out and buy? anyone a? new Mercedes, and hopefully, no small children are going to die in our version.? Alas, there’s no Kevin Spacey involvement, either.? Although he should feel free to comment on my blog as well.?

Basically, what this contest entails is you commenting on a list of participating blog sites, including mine, found on the Swistle site.? Comment as often as you like up through July 4th.? At that time, a random winner will be picked from each site to win a PRIZE!?

And I’ll even do you one better—I promise, PROMISE, not to get your prize from the Target dollar bins.? Or is that actually disappointing?? I cannot, however, promise that? the prize? will be something entirely un-bizarre, because you never know which neurons will be firing in my brain at any given moment.? For some reason, though, I think the neurons associated with random, peculiar? behavior fire a lot more.? At least in my head.

So, there you have it!? Keep commenting, and maybe you, too,? can win something cool.? Or something totally useless.? Or disgusting.? But, hey, ? you’ll never know, unless you comment!

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