I’ve decided to start fasting. Eating just makes too much of a mess.  

I tried recruiting the help of my dog. Nada. More evidence that dogs are worthless. He just sat in the sink giving me “the look.” Dogowners everywhere can surely appreciate the “I’m Not Amused” look that you come to know and love. 

Well, time to go shop for expensive sporting goods that I don’t have time to use. Sure feels nice to collect that stuff and have it sit in the garage. Or maybe I should try to find another steal on a car to adorn the driveway?