The Demon Guard Query–A Real One This Time. I Promise.

Posted by houndrat on Saturday Mar 27, 2010 Under query letters, writing

Okay, so between my fake query up on Jodi Meadows’ blog, and my rhyming query from the other day, I’m starting to worry that you guys really do think I’m query-challenged. So, in case anyone is interested, I’m pasting one of the many? REAL versions of my The Demon Guard query below.?

Dear Agent Awesomesauce:

Spiking a guy through the skull isn’t sixteen-year-old Summer Chance’s idea of the perfect party trick, but it is the best way to exorcise a Stage One Possession—and join the Demon Guard Academy . The archaic Academy and its snobby students symbolize everything Summer despises about her world, a place where a genetic quirk—immunity to demon essence—makes you superior to other humans. But somewhere inside those forbidding walls is the key to curing her mother’s mysterious illness, and Summer will sacrifice anything to nab it.

Summer’s plan is simple: get the answers and get the hell out. Oh, and maybe bring down a few enemies—like the girls who trashed her reputation—along the way. Unfortunately, brains in lockers, a brewing power struggle, and her growing connection to an unstable ex complicate the search. And then there’s the teensy matter of a sinister plot involving Stage Three demons. Summer’s mom may be next in line for a monster make-over, and that’s one rescue she can’t tackle alone. But she must choose alliances wisely. In her world, trusting the wrong person can trigger a disaster of hellish proportions, for Summer, her mom, and the entire human race.

Believe it or not, I actually had a pretty decent request rate on this sucker.? Of course, my lovely agent never even read it.?

*ponders the meaning of this fact*
*gives up and eats a cookie*

Happy Querying!

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I Did it! I Did it! I Wrote a RHYMING QUERY!

Posted by houndrat on Friday Mar 26, 2010 Under query letters, writing, Young Adult

So, I read the BEST THING EVER over at Call Me Tahereh’s blog, something so full of awesomesauce that I almost wish I didn’t have an agent yet, just so I could use her COOL NEW QUERY WRITING SYSTEM and wait for the huge flood of agent love. I mean, seriously, what agent could possibly resist the allure of a…


It’s sparkly! It’s shiny! It’s pure genius! One look at this bad boy, and I bet my request rate would have skyrocketed to, like, 252%! Or maybe even higher!

Drumroll, please….

Check out my 90k words
on Demon Guard school
C’mon, say it with me

Yes, demons are in my novel
Ex-boyfriends and meanies galore
My MC gets super darn pissed
When they call her a big fat whore boar.

Her mom is in a coma
And that is just the pits
Her mom is in a coma
It’s enough to give anyone the shits fits

So Contact me! Contact me!
When you’re ready (OR EVEN NOW!)
Cuz we both know what you’re thinking
This query’s made of WOW!

Well, what are you WAITING FOR? Go write a shiny new rhyming query of your own, and WOW agents everywhere!** You know you want to!

**DISCLAIMER: Intended for mature audiences only. The writer of this blog is not responsible for any amount of agent mocking, snickering, anger, or blacklisting incurred as a result of using the RHYMING QUERY system. All blame should be placed at T.H. Mafi’s bloggy door.

Rhyme Out.

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