Category: random stuff

Dear Meaningful Beauty:
I regret having to inform you that your beauty products suck balls.  After slathering on copious amounts of your face creams and washes for a month, I look nothing more like Cindy Crawford than I did before I started.  In fact, I’m reasonably certain had I poured said products on my ass, I would be just as close to my end [...]

Obviously my husband has found out about my minor little prank of listing his favorite golf driver on ebay.  And he’s actually taking it very well.  Which makes me suspicious that he has already purchased another club of Brobdingnagian proportions and price elsewhere.  Or is planning to.  So if any of you are listing golf [...]

Do’s and Don’ts of  listing your hubby’s favorite golf driver on ebay without telling him:
1)  Do not mistakenly use his ebay account instead of your own to list club as strangely, ebay updates are sent to account holder’s email address.  Unless husband is too dense to decipher emails saying such things as, “Notice–your wife’s listing of your favorite Callaway [...]

Has your husband ever made you SO angry and scream SO loudly that your vocal cords burst from your throat and smacked him straight upside the head?  No?  Okay so maybe that didn’t happen here either.  But you know it’s bad when I’m seriously digging the visual.
Usually after going postal in my brain for a few hours, I [...]

Not too long ago, I sent in an article to eharmony, in hopes of getting a writing gig.  Guess what?  I-Got-Published!
Okay, so it’s not like I’m going to be short-listed for the Pulitzer or anything.  Or even that I finally  finished that heinous romance novel I started over five years ago (poor Drake and Sophie–they at [...]

The great purge has finally arrived.  And it’s about time.
No, not that kind of purge–I enjoy my yummies entirely too much to sully their memory with the flavor of vomit.  Besides, we don’t clean our toilets enough for me to chance sticking my face inside ours on a daily basis.
No, I’m talking about a stuff purge.  As in, cleansing our [...]

So, I’m thinking this is not what the Happy Heiny’s manufacturer intended when they called this diaper an “all-in-one”.  But really—doesn’t it make a perfect hat? 

My mom used to say, “Everybody has a talent.”  Or maybe that was Claire Huxtable.  At any rate, the important thing to note here is that I subscribe to this theory. 
Unfortunately for me, not all talents are created equal. 
For example, my ”special” ability involves remembering impossibly random 80’s songs and lyrics.  This skill (and I use that [...]

What NOT to do when attempting the word challenge:
1)  Do not pronounce the word with all the clarity of someone who just downed a pitcher of Everclear martinis.  People will look at you like you’ve been smoking crack in a closet for the past five years.
2)  Do not be foolish enough to choose two words [...]

I have a confession to make.  Being semi-new to the blogosphere, I’m not 100% certain what a “meme” is.  Or, for that matter, how to pronounce it.  Hubby says he thinks it’s pronounced “meem”.  But it could be ”Mee Mee”, or “May May”, for all I know.  Hopefully, somebody will enlighten me soon. 
From what I can gather, a [...]