New Year’s resolutions, revisited

Posted by houndrat on Friday Jan 18, 2008 Under New Year's resolutions

Okay, so maybe I was a bit hasty with the self-congratulatory kudos in the procrastination department.? ? Granted, it was a huge step for us to deposit (read toss) our? Christmas tree? on? the curb on time.? Unfortunately, that’s the only Christmas item that’s made a timely exit from our home or surrounding area.

For example, take a gander at our fireplace mantel (photo taken yesterday).? Perhaps I can start a new decorating theme of year-round Christmas (because that would be so appropriate in San Diego, where it’s? typically scorchin’ balls, even? in December).?

I especially like how the rotting Poinsettia and decaying dirty diaper add to the overall ambiance of our family room.

Next, take a stroll up the walkway to our house, and what will you find?? Why, it’s our handy-dandy Christmas tree stand, still in the exact same spot where it landed after we flung our tree out into? the street.? We are literally? forced to step? over it multiple times on a daily basis, yet on our walkway it continues to reside.? Personally, I think it makes an interesting conversation piece.?

And finally, the piece de resistance.? Yes, our holiday reindeer and our fifteen foot? inflatable polar bear (because it just wouldn’t be Christmas without one of those), not to mention our lights, are all still? partying it up? together on our front lawn.? You know the neighbors dig that stuff.

So I say, bah humbug to eliminating procrastination.? It’s kind of nice to still have Christmas? in our home—even if it is a? slightly less fragrant one.

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Every year, my husband and I make New Year’s resolutions to get organized and stop procrastinating.? ? Every year,? my husband and I? know we’ve failed miserably by February.? ? How?? By the fact? that? the friggin’ Christmas tree is? still creating a massive fire hazard in our living room come Valentine’s Day.? Seriously.?

Being (mostly) environmentally friendly people, we actually tried the live tree thing our first year in a new house.? Our son had just been born, and we got all teary-eyed thinking how great it would be for him to have his own Christmas tree in the backyard, commemorating the wonder of his birth.

Bad idea.? Aapparently, you have to actually plant the darn? things before July.? Go figure.?

And not having a Christmas tree is just not an option in our home, with our son.? Why not try a fake one, you ask?? Are you kidding?? The only reason the tree ever exits our house at all? is because after awhile, the dead pine needles start molting.? If we had a fake one, I can only imagine it would become a year-long fixture.? Tempting as that is, we just don’t have the space for it.? We’ve got a myriad of other random assorted crap to strew over the floor, you know.

In case I haven’t made my point yet—it? is a bad, bad thing to be a procrastinator and unorganized.?

However, when both you AND your husband are equally cursed with both of these traits, you are basically as screwed as if a tornado had taken up permanent residence inside your home.

Think I’m joking?? Well, the policeman sure didn’t, even though I tried to explain to him that we really MEANT to renew our registration, but we 1) didn’t open the notice? until too late and 2) then couldn’t find it again once we opened it, in the sea of assorted papers that is our counter.

? Seriously, ladies, heed my advice.? If you are single and unorganized, then start looking for datable men who work at places like the Container Store, or better yet, cast members from Clean Sweep.? A procrastinator?? Go find yourself? a CPA hottie.? Because,? honestly folks,? this is not something you want to double up on in? your gene pool.

This year, however, we have made serious progress.? The Christmas tree actually made it to the curb in time for the trash man to take it.? ? This is the first time since my husband and I have owned a home that he hasn’t had to sneak around in the middle of the night in the slightly illegal endeavor (whatever that means) of dumping the tree in an empty dumpster at the nearby junior college (hey, the benefits of college have far exceeded my expectations now) because we missed the tree pick-up dates by a mile.?

The fact that we are actually? truly excited by this milestone shows how pathetic we really are.

Of course, in the process of exiting our home, the tree shed needles like a flock of Samoyeds shed hair, all across our living room.? Hmmm, might have something to do with the fact that neither of us remembered to put water in the little holder thingy?

At any rate, my husband, upon re-entering our house, gives the mess a cursory glance and says, “I’ll clean it up”.? That was on Tuesday.? It’s now Friday.? Is the mess still there?? You bet.? In fact, I imagine those pine needles will still be rotting away there come December, waiting to? greet the next Christmas tree.? ?

Aw, the circle of life.?

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