Category: husbands

So I know I’m supposed to tell the story of my husband nearly castrating his finger after smashing our glass coffee table while watching the kiddage, but I have like zero time.  After staying up until 4:00 am–4:00 AM–on Saturday night for my 20 year high school reunion, I am pretty much a zombie right [...]

Today started out much the same as any other day except that my husband stayed home from work. Why?Because the two of us have turned procrastination into an art form.
In a roundabout way, my husand took a day off work due to our failure to file our ‘07 taxes.  You may remember that we, or more correctly, I, birthed our second [...]

I wasn’t going to say anything.  I really wasn’t.  But the more I think about it, the more I’m just so completely dumbfounded by the absolute retardedness of it all that I can’t possibly keep quiet.
So Friday afternoon I get an email from my husband at work. Here’s the email:
Subject: Damn, My Shirt has been Inside Out ALL DAY!

I [...]

I don’t mind the fact that hubby routinely wakes me up at 5:30 a.m. by cracking his knuckles so loudly I bolt upright in bed, sure that a SWAT team assault is under way. (Okay, actually I do mind. Although perhaps halting the espionage reading right before bed wouldn’t hurt.)
It’s also beyond me how [...]

I had my monthly Bunco game last night. Although supposedly a dice game, what Bunco really represents is a thinly veiled excuse for a bunch of women to escape from the old homestead and drink beer (and in last night’s case, margaritas and Mojitos).  Our group consists mostly of moms which basically means our games rate higher on the [...]

Obviously my husband has found out about my minor little prank of listing his favorite golf driver on ebay.  And he’s actually taking it very well.  Which makes me suspicious that he has already purchased another club of Brobdingnagian proportions and price elsewhere.  Or is planning to.  So if any of you are listing golf [...]

Do’s and Don’ts of  listing your hubby’s favorite golf driver on ebay without telling him:
1)  Do not mistakenly use his ebay account instead of your own to list club as strangely, ebay updates are sent to account holder’s email address.  Unless husband is too dense to decipher emails saying such things as, “Notice–your wife’s listing of your favorite Callaway [...]

Has your husband ever made you SO angry and scream SO loudly that your vocal cords burst from your throat and smacked him straight upside the head?  No?  Okay so maybe that didn’t happen here either.  But you know it’s bad when I’m seriously digging the visual.
Usually after going postal in my brain for a few hours, I [...]

Moms complain incessantly about the sneaky, manipulative and, well, hormonal ways of their teenagers (to put it quaintly).  And I’m sure teens come with a bevy of tricks up their sleeves.  I get that.
What I don’t get, however, is why those same mamas don’t tell you this behavior can start much, much earlier—say, at age two?  Okay, so maybe [...]

I don’t know how you spent your last few minutes of awake time last night, but I’m reasonably certain they weren’t squandered discussing the merits of Gordon Lightfoot.  Me?  Not so lucky. 
Here’s how it happened: Hubby and I are getting ready for bed, and at a decent hour for a change. Not that we’ve been up [...]