Either this synopsis or my purse will kill me. You decide.

Posted by houndrat on Thursday May 27, 2010 Under writing, Young Adult

It’s white. It’s scary. It’s an UNWRITTEN SYNOPSIS—EEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!

So, I’m getting ready to go on sub soon (yay!) and my lovely Agent has suggested I work on a synopsis for the sequel to Demon Guard. You know, just in case. Yeah,that’s right—a synopsis for a book that HASN’T BEEN WRITTEN YET.

Gulp.

Now, I know lots of writers who express hatred/fear/paranoia about outbreaks of hives when the word “outline” is mentioned. Believe me when I tell you—no one can match my terror. No one. I mean, seriously, do you have ANY idea how hard this is for me? Me, the person whose brain is so disorganized, my mom’s almost OCD-style neatness genes ran shrieking out of the egg at the mere thought of coming near little embrionic moi? Because, let’s face it. Outlines imply organized thinking. And I repel organization.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a reminder: a sneak peek inside my purse. Oh, it looks innocent enough from the outside:

see how innocent it looks?

see how innocent it looks?

But unzip that sucker and here’s what you’ll find:

Wait--is something in there MOVING?

Wait--is something in there MOVING?

Though, maybe find is the wrong word. An oxymoron really, when it comes to hunting down items inside this dark abyss of funk:

Oh, look, cashew crumbs!  Too bad we haven't bought those in months...

Oh, look, cashew crumbs! Too bad we haven't bought those in months...

The good news? I’ve got hand sanitizer! ‘Course, I’m the only person who needs it to protect her from the cooties lurking INSIDE her purse, but hey, what can you do?

I wonder if it comes in the gallon size?

I wonder if it comes in the gallon size?

And some of you thought my UF was kinda scary–HA! ? I know, maybe I should write a YA horror novel, involving a purse that grows people-eating monsters. All from digesting a mish-mash of stale Cheerios, dried up Play-Doh bits, and Chuck E. Cheese ticket-lint.

Yum.

(No joke–something in there stabbed me in the leg once, through the bottom of my purse. I’m scared.)

No, I have no idea of what all’s in there, and frankly, I don’t want to know. When it starts smelling bad enough, I’ll just rescue my wallet, toss the rest and buy a new one. All hail cheap Target purse-wear.

So, yeah, this pre-synopsis thing is kind of kicking my butt. Send help.

And purses.

Seriously, though, how do you outliners do it? No, really?

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14 Responses to “Either this synopsis or my purse will kill me. You decide.”

  1. T.H. Mafi Says:

    loool great post, and CONGRATS ON GOING ON SUB SOON!! here’s hoping for a super fast and SUPER HUGE sale!! :D :D

    but, uh, i can’t help you with the synopsis stuff. because i have NO CLUE. i’ve never outlined anything.
    in fact, the idea HORRIFIES me. Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    but hey, maybe you can use this as a good excuse to go shopping huh?? new purse, anyone??

    hehehehe

  2. Other LIsa Says:

    HAHAH! The Purse of DOOOOOM!!!!!!!

    (sorry, I can’t help with the pre-book outline. I’m one of YOU!!!!!)

  3. Tracey Says:

    Eek! Now I’m going to have nightmares. :-D

    Yes, I’m an outliner. No, that doesn’t make writing a synopsis for an unwritten book any easier. In fact, nothing about a synopsis is easy. They suck. I hates them. There is no organization to the way I outline, either. Trust me. It defies explanation.

  4. Bri Says:

    Heh, I also repel organization. I’ve outlined once, ever, but I was already halfway done, so I’m not sure it counts. My purse looks similar to yours, too. And gosh, I’m a dork that loves editing, but what really scares me about revision land is that I’ll have to organize my WIP a little (read: much) better. Eep!

    So, I’m no help, but I understand.

  5. Emilia Says:

    HAHAHA. I love this – reminds me of the bottom of my backpack after a semester… With outlining, I love just sitting down and letting the story swirl around in my head. Then I write in down so it sounds as much like an actual story as possible – imagine this is your ONE CHANCE to tell the story, and you only have x amount of time. You can do it! :)

  6. Jennifer Says:

    Oh the purse *shivers* *shivers again*

    Congrats on sub and good luck on the outline :D

  7. Vee Says:

    Synopses make me want to clean my school bag (it’s worse than your purse. I think there’s decomposing paper in there, lol). So unfortunately I can’t help.

    BUT. *HUGE GOOD LUCK WISHES BEING SENT YOUR WAY* :D

  8. JennWalkup Says:

    Synopsis writing is the work of the devil – ahhhh. I hate them!!! Something stabbing you from your purse made me LMFAO. I am the same way. Today I was searching in my gym back pack for a piece of paper to write an idea for the WIP. The paper I pulled out was a scribbled itinerary from my honeymoon. My 7 year anniversary is next week. LOL.

  9. elle strauss Says:

    It’s hard enough trying to write a synopsis for a book that’s written, much less one that’s not. All the best to you in your efforts!

  10. Sumayyah Says:

    So I’m pretty sure all hell will descend when I say this: but I actually think it’s easier to write a synopsis for a story that you haven’t written yet. When the stories done, EVERYTHING seems important. Before it’s written, you’re jotting down the really major stuff and then trying to make it sound right. What I do is make a list titled EVERYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG and then try to jam it into some sort of cohesive order. Then try to jam that order into a synopsis. :p

    (hope I helped!)

  11. Sandy Shin Says:

    Good luck with your synopsis!

    And oh, your purse of doom! Could totally be in a horror novel. ;D

  12. Josin Says:

    You do know that bacteria like Staph (MRSA) EAT that sanitizer stuff in the most literal sense. We used it as germ food in Uni. microbiology – chomped through it like a hamburger.

    So… stay away from that and go with the synopsis.

  13. houndrat Says:

    Why do I have this feeling everyone is now going to want to inspect my purse at SCBWI? *makes note to buy new one just before trip*

    :D

  14. Jill Wheeler Says:

    This looks like the inside of my purse! Did you spill some peanut butter M&Ms inside yours like I did inside mine? I should probably clean those out before going out into the heat.

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