Wow, I can actually sum this one up in two words: John Hughes. Done, see you next week!
Okay, okay, so maybe I could write a little more. Like how Mr. Hughes captured all the angst, excitement, fear and fun of high school and being a teen—meshed the outlandish with the real. But since I’m feeling lazy, I think I’ll just throw some of my favorite quotes at you instead.
No more yankee my wankee—the Donger need FOOD!
Grandma: Fred, she’s gotten her boobies! Oh, and they’re so perky!
I mean, would high school have been the same without Long Duk Dong? I think not. (Amusing fact: every single one of my friends was convinced Jake Ryan was a double for this swimmer at our school, Mark Vahradian, who now works in the film industry. Mark, if you’re out there–hi!)
The Breakfast Club:
Vernon: What if your family…what if your home…what if your dope was on fire?
Bender: Impossible, sir. It’s in Johnson’s underwear.
Bender: Come on, Sporto, level with me. Did you slip her the hot beef injection?
Bender: Screws just fall out all the time—the world is an imperfect place.
Bender: Why does Andrew get to get up? If he gets up, we’ll all get up! It will be ANARCHY!
(Yeah, so I totally had a thing for Bender/Judd Nelson when I was a teen. I think it was the glove.)
Pretty in Pink:
Duckie: May I admire you again today?
Duckie: What’s this? We don’t have a candy machine in the boys’ room!
Stefan: That girl was, is, and always will be, nada.
(It must be noted that Pretty in Pink had one of the best soundtracks EVAH! Love New Order…especially Shellshock, and then Elegia playing before the big locker confrontation scene–awesome!. Also, I had a teensy little infatuation with James Spader. Does Less Than Zero count as a teen movie? ‘Cuz I loved that one, too–Spader made a perfect douchebag. I bet here’s a movie he starred in during the 80’s that you never watched, though:
Plus, apparently I wasn’t the only one with a Spader obsession:
Although it’s not a John Hughes film, and a little past my teen years, I have to give a shout-out to Ten Thing I Hate About You, anyway. It’s one of my most fave teen movies ever (RIP, Heath Ledger)
Patrick: It’s not every day you find a girl who’ll flash someone to get you out of detention.
Kat: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.
Teacher: Now. I know Shakespeare’s a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that.
Mr. Stratford: And I’ll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren’t out being impregnated.
Mr. Stratford: This morning I delivered a set of twins to a 15 year old girl. You know what she said to me?
Bianca: I’m a crack whore who should have made her sleazy boyfriend wear a condom?
Mr. Stratford: No. She said “I should have listened to my father.”
Bianca: She did not.
Mr. Stratford: No, but she would have if she wasn’t so doped up.
Again, not a John Hughes flick, but probably one of my favorite all-time lines (and if you know me, you’ve heard me quote this and perform some random stunt to go with it, way, way too many times) is from Real Genius:
Val Kilmer: You may be smarter than me, but can you do this?
There’s so many more: Dirty Dancing (No one puts Baby in the corner!), The Lost Boys (back when vampires were still SCARY!), Top Gun (I feel the need, the need for speed!), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (my swimmer friends and I actually serenaded the employees at Disneyland with our stunning rendition of Twist and Shout), Clueless (Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?), 9 and 1/2 Weeks (wait–you’re saying that WASN’T a teen movie?), too many to name. In fact, I think I feel the need for a teen movie marathon coming on…..Share on Facebook