Teaser Tuesday: Beware of the Wall Face

Posted by houndrat on Tuesday Mar 30, 2010 Under writing, Young Adult

At the last minute, decided to post a random Teaser from my WIP about a girl’s addiction. It’s rough, raw, and a wee bit dark. Hope you enjoy! (And with that, it’s back to the revision cave for me!)

It’s cold, so freaking cold. I curl my knees into my body, wrap my arms around tight. Sit very, very still. I’m almost afraid to breathe. They’re staring at me, I know they are. Hunting me. Faces in the wall, bursting out and grabbing at me with long, fleshless fingers. They’re all out to get me. Devour me. I scrunch down into the tightest ball I can manage, trying to disappear.

Something brushes against my neck.

My body shivers, and I rock, rock, rock, keeping my eyes tightly closed. “No, no, go away! I can’t see you, I can’t.”

A voice. “Kaylin?”

They know my name. They’re trying to trick me. I can’t look, I can’t look. They might snatch me into the wall if I do. “No. No! NO!!! La, la, la, I can’t see you.” I start to laugh, rock even faster.

They won’t win. I’m too smart. I’m too—

“NO!” My hands whip up like claws to scratch at whatever is touching my neck, but I keep my eyes squeezed shut like my life depends on it. Oh, God, are there bugs crawling on me? I shake violently, slap at my arms. Maybe if I peel off my skin, they’ll go away. I start to scratch, and I can’t stop. Deep down, a part of me knows I’m shredding the fuck out of my arms, but I don’t care. I want it to go away. I want everything to go away. My skin is dirty, but blood is clean. Blood will wash it all away.

“Jesus—KAYLIN! STOP!” Strong hands manacle my wrists, yank my arms behind me.

It’s a trick. It’s a trick. It’s—

My eyelids flutter open. A figure, kneeling before me, dark hair dripping like chocolate across his forehead. Not a wall face. Safe. “P-Patrick?”

Relief rushes through me in a wave of liquid joy. My fears melt away. But something is wrong. I can see it, there in the downward arch of his mouth, the pain radiating behind his dark blue eyes.

My trembling fingers reach up to touch the cool skin of his cheek. “Patrick, why are you sad?”

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15 Responses to “Teaser Tuesday: Beware of the Wall Face”

  1. Karla Nellenbach Says:

    oh wow…this is so good! seriously, shivers here…more please!

  2. sue Says:

    This is so dark and different from your other stuff and it really works beautifully.
    Great stuff.

  3. ChristaCarol Says:

    Duuuuude, Debra, this is so awesome. I’m right there with her, feeling what she feels, the paranoia, the freak-out, this is just so perfectly dark. Love. It.

  4. Tracey Says:

    Oh, wow. This is awesome, terrible stuff. You have a great rhythm going in places and I love the line: “dark hair dripping like chocolate across his forehead.”

  5. Becca Says:

    Definitely dark, but true to addiction. So sad. Great teaser! <3

  6. LizPage Says:

    This is SO good. The voice is just so realistic that it makes me sad :( It’s incredible though.

  7. hope101 Says:

    Dude, this might be dark, but it’s awesome. I loved the chocolate line, too, and the “not a wall face”, LOL. Also, why have I never noticed your hilarious tags before?

  8. Laura (Common) Says:

    Deb, this is sooooooooo good. I’ve never done drugs, but I knew a lot of people who did, and this feels like a couple of times when I found them at bad times…wow. Just, wow!

  9. Lynkay Says:

    Deb, this is amazing. I still have shivers running down my spine. Great descriptions. It flows so easily and perfect, just as if I was there.

  10. Sage Says:

    Wow, powerful writing, chica

  11. Heather Says:

    Deb this is truly gripping. Amazing. Whoa.

    (also, your tags are kind of hilarious)

  12. T.H. Mafi Says:

    deb this was incredible.
    you have a GIFT.


  13. Jennifer (Herb) Says:

    ooohhhhh, love it. Poor thing!!

  14. Niyrak Says:

    You always do such a good job with these type scenes. Pulling the reader into your MC’s addiction is very natural for you. Good JOB! :)

  15. Annie Says:

    WOW!! Love it! You really pulled me in! Nice work!

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