Watch Your Twitter-quette: Tweets Gone Bad

Posted by houndrat on Monday Mar 22, 2010 Under writing

I’m probably the last person who should be blogging about Twitter-quette. I mean, I’m pretty chatty and nutso crazy goofy in person, but that trait seems to translate quadruple-time into my online persona.
So I regularly barge into other people’s convos, tweet utter lunacy, and jump up and down when total strangers share great news.

Twitter gives us that up-close-and-personal experience, but is there such a thing as taking that casual façade *too* far, especially with publishing people?

Watch it...the bird bites

Watch it...the bird bites

Ha, you got me—I’m sure I violate personal Twitter-space all the time. But, even my less-than-reserved self can give you examples of Bad Tweets: places you just shouldn’t go with agents on Twitter.

The I’m-Bitter-and-Oddly-Bipolar Tweet:

Agent Awesome tweet: I’ve just finished reading queries through March 1st. If you haven’t heard from me, it’s a pass. Sorry.

Bad tweet: @Agent Awesome WHAT? YOU FOOL! You will RUE the day, RUE IT, I tell you! And oh, how about those Bears? :D

The Gushy, I’m-a-Total-Kiss-Ass Tweet:

Agent Awesome tweet (to another agent): Let’s meet at the cupcake shop in an hour!

Bad tweet: @AgentAwesome OMG—cupcakes? I LOVE CUPCAKES! I’m soooo there! I’m wearing a pink shirt and purple Uggs—see u soon!

Bad tweet #2: @AgentAwesome Really? You like cupcakes? I can totally bake you some and send them—what are your faves? Oh, and can I send my query with them?


The You-Should-Really-Do-Your-Homework-and-Not-Rant-About-Other-Writers, Especially-When-They’re-Rep’d-By-the-Tweeting-Party Tweet:

Agent Awesome tweet (to editor, who pub’d book mentioned): Wow, just finished Why Donkeys Fly—amazing! Loved it!

Bad tweet: @AgentAwesome Oh, man! Why Donkeys Fly sucked lime green donkey balls! But you should really, really read (names rival house’s novel) so, so much better!

The TMI Tweet:

AgentAwesome tweet: I’m having a bad day.

Bad tweet: @AgentAwesome (((Hugs)))) And, OMG, me too! I have total cramps and ran out of tampons and had to change my pants TWICE already—UGH!

Bad tweet #2: @AgentAwesome NOT ME! I had just had the BEST SEX EVER with my friend’s boyfriend! Wow, am I WIPED!


Okay, all joking aside-here’s what I’ve figured out. Just be yourself. Have fun. Basically, because life’s too short not to, and because, guess what? Social media can also help show YOU which agents might best suit YOUR personality. Chances are, if your personality offends an agent on twitter for whatever reason (unless you’re doing those tweets listed above, and if so—Stop. Now.), then you’re probably not going to be the best fit ultimately anyway. And when it’s all said and done, you want both an agent who LOVES your novel, and also one who you CLICK with.

So Tweet On, fellow Tweeps. Just do us all a favor—keep your sexcapades to yourself.? Please.

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11 Responses to “Watch Your Twitter-quette: Tweets Gone Bad”

  1. Kaitlin Says:

    Wait, I CAN’T invite myself to an agent’s cupcake party?! But…but I love cupcakes!
    *goes to tweet angstily about this*

    Awesome post :)

  2. Laura (Common) Says:

    You mean I’m not supposed to mention the orgy I had with a room full of cupcakes while ranting about agents??? Man. That just ruined my day! ;-)

  3. ChristaCarol Says:

    Well *I* don’t think you’re crazy, but then again, I’m not sure if that’s saying much :P

  4. snarkychicklet Says:

    Oh, this is fun. This has potential for a future Top Ten Bad Tweets post or contest. Good stuff. :)

  5. JennW Says:

    Eeek – you did it again – I literally laughed out loud. Literally. Like my dog just looked at me like, “WTF is wrong with you now?” I’m retweeting this link.:)

  6. choco Says:

    Hahahaa. Hilarious post, I was laughing the whole time :)

  7. Sandy Shin Says:

    Love, love, love the post! So hilarious. :D

  8. Tracey Says:

    Hahaha! Love the advice. :-D

  9. sunna Says:


    I heart your examples. :)

  10. Annie Says:


  11. Shveta Thakrar Says:


    Oh, Deb. :D

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