Demon Guard Teaser!
Posted by houndrat on Tuesday Jan 5, 2010 Under writingIn case anyone is wondering what DG is about, a fellow crit group member (the amazing Amy Bai) summed it up as Mean Girls meet Harry Potter. That totally works for me–although, I could also go with Veronica Mars meet Something-Vampire-Academy-esque-But-Without-the-Vampires. Um, yeah. Maybe I should stick with my crit partner’s version.
At any rate, this Teaser follows shortly after the one a few weeks ago, where the MC Summer discovers that a lewd photo of her and Billy, a guy she despises, was photo-shopped and sent around the school. This is Billy catching up with her afterwards. Oh, and, if this is your first time–the MC has been hearing voices for a few days now. As usual, all comments welcomed and appreciated!
“So, how’d you like the photo?” he said, his too-slick smile making him look like a used-car salesman. Only—used-car salesmen didn’t usually leer at their customers. His gaze traveled down my body in a way that made my hands twitch to cover myself.
I shook off the sudden urge to dart back into the bathroom and lifted my chin instead. “Honestly? It made me want to hurl.”
He stepped closer, trapping me in the corner next to the bathroom door. Warning bells rang in my head. I pressed myself tightly against the rough wall to keep any part of my body from touching him.
“That’s too bad,” he whispered, “Because I was thinking—since everyone already thinks we, you know, got naked together, what’s the harm in doing it for real?” He reached out and twined a strand of my hair around his fingers.
“You—” Too late, I made a move to knee him in the balls. He yanked the hair tighter, and his other hand flew up to dig into my throat, holding me prisoner in the corner. My scalp burned. I wanted to shout for help, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but try to breathe—and even that wasn’t going so well.
“Ah, ah, ah. Don’t make any hasty decisions. You know, I’m not really into hume-lovers, but I’d make an exception for you,” he said, wafting his bitter coffee breath into my face.
He leaned harder on my throat and I wheezed, my lungs straining for even a thin trickle of oxygen. His mouth moved closer, closer. I tried to twist my head away, but the hand with the hair grabbed my chin, wrenching it forward to face him. My fingers flew up to pry at his. It was like clawing against stone. Not strong enough. No…air. Dizzy, I squeezed my eyes shut and prepared to bite. And then a familiar drawl sounded from behind us.
“Let her go right now, or I’m going to turn your face into something that really makes the girls scream. And not in a good way.”
The grip on my neck tightened at first, then slowly released. I gasped, my lungs on fire. I was still sucking down greedy mouthfuls of air when Billy turned to face Shade.
“Hey, there, buddy. There’s no reason for you to get involved. I was just having a little fun.”
Shade’s focus shifted to me, to where my hands still clutched my throat. His eyes flashed. Somehow, I could read the violent intention in them, clear as day. Or maybe it was the word whispering through my head. One word, coated in blazing hot fury.
Kill.
January 5th, 2010 at 2:14 am
Jerk! I want to punch Billy in the head!!! (And this is good.) LOL. Your ending is great. Since I haven’t read any of your work before, it makes me wonder… is Shade going to jump in and go for it? And is your MC character going to help him? Fab tease!
January 5th, 2010 at 6:20 am
I LOVED this in FNW and I still love it. Summer’s voice is compelling as always and the tension is just like woah. Awesome teaser
January 5th, 2010 at 8:14 am
I agree with MC’s sentiment! Off with his head!
January 5th, 2010 at 8:41 am
Another brilliant bit! ‘Mean girls meet Harry Potter’, I love that.
I also loved this line:
“Let her go right now, or I’m going to turn your face into something that really makes the girls scream. And not in a good way.”
I just love the little flashes of snark and humor in your writing. It just has a real ’spark’ about it. Great stuff, as always.
January 5th, 2010 at 8:58 am
Shade made me swoon in this teaser!! <3
January 5th, 2010 at 9:54 am
I agree with Vero. I read last teaser, but haven’t heard about Shade yet. Now I want more of his yumminess. I love him already. And I hate Billy. What an ass! Great description with her choking. Well done! Liking this a lot.
January 5th, 2010 at 10:10 am
I’d also throw a Buffy comparison in there for the Whedon-esq banter (which I LOVE)
January 5th, 2010 at 10:11 am
I remember that line.
I am definitely liking Shade more and more. It’s nice to see him defending Summer. That connection between them is great. More!
January 5th, 2010 at 10:22 am
Ooh, Shade to the rescue! Love that line.
You need to send me the whole thing!!!
January 5th, 2010 at 10:22 am
I just love the feel of this story, it’s unique and funny and makes me laugh out loud again and again.
January 5th, 2010 at 10:32 am
Mean Girls meet Harry Potter. Awesome. Love both.
I want to know where this is going.
And hair yanking is horrible. I wanna kill that guy!
January 5th, 2010 at 10:47 am
MAN I LOVE DG! Seriously. LOVE.
January 5th, 2010 at 11:06 am
Dude. I can tell I’m going to <33 Shade. ^.^
January 5th, 2010 at 11:23 am
SHADE! YES! <3 Shade. And the fact that you used the word "hurl." And the part about his coffee breath– very specific. I must read more.
January 5th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Very tense throughout and I love the car salesman line and the last paragraph.
January 5th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I. LOVE. THIS. I want to read this
PS I’m a total Veronica Mars addict! LOL
January 5th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
*jumps up and down* OMGOMGOMGOMG! I. Love. Shade. When do I get to read this???
January 5th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
I adore this scene. Billy’s such a skeeze (Mean Girls reference). And I love Shade jumping in. He is my lover.
January 5th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
YEZZZ, it’s Shade, my hero!!! I’m with Summer in trying to kick this douchebag in the balls! Ugh! I’m curious about the picture and what all is going on with that. Nice teaser, you little tease!
January 5th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
*summons angry mob to smash Billy’s head in*
And Shade = <333
January 5th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
Oh, i hate this guy. I mean I really, really hate him. Really.
Great tease!
January 5th, 2010 at 4:04 pm
This is one of my favorite scenes of the entire book – so far
Shade – who wouldn’t swoon over a guy who kicks ass?
January 5th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Snork–it’s probably bc Shade is actually showing his good side for a change. A side that wasn’t very evident in the first part!
Go little anti-hero, go!
January 5th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
This is great! Your teasers are always well-paced and filled with tension.
January 5th, 2010 at 6:50 pm
Awesome teaser. The voices are great. Billy – Ugh when he says the lien about why don’t we get naked together – so authentic the way he talks. Blech. Also, I like the tension and the way she sees the Kill vibe in shade. Very cool. Mean Girls meets Harry Potter – That’s great.
January 5th, 2010 at 6:53 pm
I’m with Shade… KILL the hair puller! Great teaser!
January 5th, 2010 at 8:05 pm
LOVE THIS! I can’t wait to see this waiting in my inbox *grins*
January 6th, 2010 at 7:29 am
Great teaser! I especially like how it ended
January 6th, 2010 at 4:07 pm
I want to know more!
“Let her go right now, or I’m going to turn your face into something that really makes the girls scream. And not in a good way.”
that made me LOL
January 7th, 2010 at 6:13 pm
This was so good! I want more!
January 8th, 2010 at 5:22 am
ooo… This is getting GOOD! I always love it when the ‘bad guy’ gets his. Please tell me it will be soon! maybe Shade will turn him into a snake or something more fitting LOL