Top Ten Reasons Why Revisions are Better than Sex

Posted by houndrat on Friday Oct 30, 2009 Under procrastination, writing

As some of you may know, I’m eyebrow-deep in revisions right now for Demon Guard, with serious hopes of finishing the main stuff before NaNo starts.? So, in the interest of procrastinating whipping my muse into shape, I’ve come up with a little blog post.? It’s a list of the Top Ten Reasons Why Revisions are Better than Sex.? Feel free to add your reasons as well, and procrastinate whip your muse right along with me.? Giddy-up!

10.? You don’t have to get naked to do revisions (Although, you can if you want–just be sure to switch your webcam off first.)

9.? Your revisions don’t care if you pause in the middle of the action to check out Glee or Gossip Girl.? I mean, it’s Chuck Bass!

8.? Performing revisions in your favorite coffee shop will not result in you being booted, arrested, or getting latte with extra froth in unmentionable places.

7.? The satisfaction of a good revision won’t wear off in, say, five minutes.

6.? You won’t feel bad about eating that extra piece of chocolate cake before jumping into revisions.

5.? Your children can be present during revisions without fear of scarring them for life.

4.? Multiple partners can help with your revisions—and you won’t be labeled kinky.

3.? You can curse your revisions with as many creative obscenities as you like, and it still won’t affect your chances of getting lucky with them.

2.? The only way revisions will result in an expanding belly is if you pig out on Haagen Dazs Dulce de Leche and In-N-Out burgers while writing.

1.? You never know—the perfect revision may lead to a long-lived and prosperous career.? The perfect sexual encounter?? Not so much.? Unless said career involves thigh-high boots and a tube top.? (Okay, so maybe the second career is more prosperous, but still…..)

Now, quit being so productive and take a moment to name yours!

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10 Responses to “Top Ten Reasons Why Revisions are Better than Sex”

  1. Emilia Says:

    !!!!
    You are hilarious. :)

  2. Jamie Says:

    HA!!! So true! Love it!

  3. Kathleen Says:

    Other people can give constructive criticism on your revisions without a: you having emotional baggage for the rest of your life and b: without you having to hit them about the head.

  4. Horserider Says:

    LOL #8 and 2 are my favorites.

  5. K Taylor Says:

    Made me giggle. :D

  6. sunna Says:

    BWAH!

    The fruit of your revisions does not cost $300,000 to raise over an 18-year period.

  7. Jennifer (Herb) Says:

    Theses were too funny! :-)

  8. Amna Says:

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  9. colbymarshall Says:

    Wait…you don’t have to get naked to do revisions??? And all this time…*shakes head*

  10. Marie Says:

    LOL!!! I loved this!

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