Totally Random Teaser Tuesday
Posted by houndrat on Tuesday Oct 13, 2009 Under UncategorizedUm, yeah–this next snippet came out of pretty much nowhere.? I was working on revisions last night, and BAM!? ? ending up writing ? this instead.? I’m thinking it’s my brain’s way of procrastinating.? Just posting it for kicks and giggles.? Cheers!
?
Trista Bailey’s blond ponytail swung with just the right amount of enthusiasm when she bounced down the halls.? She clutched her pristine purple notebook to her chest, laughing that tinkling laugh that made everyone flock to her like brainless ducks.? Her jeans managed to be relaxed without looking sloppy, and her cream-colored shirt seemed to repel stains—even on spaghetti day. Her metal-free mouth never called anyone names—not even Bobby Stiffey.
But none of that mattered. I didn’t care if everyone at school—in the whole county, even—thought Trista could poop new kidneys for babies. I knew she was a big fat fake.? Like Mama always said—nobody is that perfect.? And it was my job to prove it.? Even if proving it would make me the meanest girl in all of Hobblesworth, I was going to bring Trista Bailey down.
Right after I finished mastering fractions for my sixth-grade math test which, at the rate I was going, would? take at least a? century.? Lucky for Trista I sucked at math.
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October 13th, 2009 at 10:01 am
I seriously love this. Bobby Stiffey made me laugh out loud. Keep it!!
October 13th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Ditto what Sunna said! LOL.. “laughing that tinkling laugh that made everyone flock to her like brainless ducks” — soooo loved that!
I wanna read more….. shame, SHAME on you for not continuing with this!!!! (and heeey, it’ll be even more procrastinating!!!
)
October 13th, 2009 at 10:05 am
lol, loved it! Great voice!
October 13th, 2009 at 10:11 am
I really liked this snip! I like that line about “laughing that tinkling laugh….” Priceless!
And I hope your MC does bring her down!
(I also have Bailey as a last name, but for a guy) Robbie Bailey. He’s chasing after my MC in one of my books haha. Rules NOT to Fall in Love. The blurb is on my page underneath my teaser
October 13th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Nice! I especially liked the part about pooping kidneys. LOL
October 13th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Great voice! Loved this teaser. The “brainless ducks” drew me right in and I love your MC’s motivations. Good work!
October 13th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
I have my hand clamped over my mouth to stop laughing out loud.
I love it, brilliant voice, great feeling of movement. i could see her ponytail swishing…great visuals.
You do realise you’re going to have to do something with this now.
October 13th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Bwahaha! Love this, especially the pooping kidneys part. You have such a knack for sharp, witty characters.
October 13th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Great voice, intriguing opening. Reads a little older than a 6th grade protag but you could make it work!
October 13th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Great voice! The mc sounds very witty
October 13th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Great immagry. ( is that spelled right???) Anyway, I loved the paly on words. It kept the rythm of the text moving along. Great job.
October 13th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
I love how you tell us so much about Trista without actually telling us anything at all. So nicely done!
October 13th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Love the voice of the MC. I think you have something good here.
October 13th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Awesome! Trista’s going down, LOL. Excellent voice.
October 13th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Really GREAT voice! Had me giggling.
Trista better watch out…
October 13th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Love this. Great voice and really you should continue with this. Brainless ducks and metal-free mounth and pooping kidneys <— had me laughing! All really original, great images for your MC.
October 13th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
“I didn’t care if everyone at school—in the whole county, even—thought Trista could poop new kidneys for babies.”
^ This is made of awesome. I laughed out loud.
Love it!!
October 14th, 2009 at 12:34 am
I agree that the “new kidneys for babies” comment is hilarious!! Nice snippet — makes me curious to learn more.
October 15th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
“thought Trista could poop new kidneys for babies”
LOLOL! This is hilarious. Your MC has a great voice.
Loved this teaser
Sorry I was so late getting to it!