Comments on: Teaser Tuesday–possible cut scene from the Demon Guard http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/ Finding Time to Write with 3 Dogs, 2 Kids & an ADHD Husband. Thu, 02 Feb 2012 16:48:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Laurie http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/comment-page-1/#comment-1159 Laurie Wed, 12 Aug 2009 03:04:08 +0000 http://www.houndrat.com/?p=194#comment-1159 Wow, excellent dialogue. Really loving the character in the hospital bed and I *think* I may have an idea who it is from FNW. Wow, excellent dialogue. Really loving the character in the hospital bed and I *think* I may have an idea who it is from FNW.

]]> By: Hannah http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/comment-page-1/#comment-1127 Hannah Wed, 05 Aug 2009 04:30:06 +0000 http://www.houndrat.com/?p=194#comment-1127 Really liked this! Good job :) Really liked this! Good job :)

]]> By: firedrake http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/comment-page-1/#comment-1125 firedrake Tue, 04 Aug 2009 20:59:31 +0000 http://www.houndrat.com/?p=194#comment-1125 yay! I found it! I love the wit, missus! Your dialogue is always so sharp and snappy. Also love the Lifetime line! yay! I found it!

I love the wit, missus! Your dialogue is always so sharp and snappy.
Also love the Lifetime line!

]]> By: Jen http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/comment-page-1/#comment-1117 Jen Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:47:18 +0000 http://www.houndrat.com/?p=194#comment-1117 Great teaser! Your voice is great here, and I love the witty exchange between the characters. I think the Lifetime comment is my favorite as well. Great teaser! Your voice is great here, and I love the witty exchange between the characters. I think the Lifetime comment is my favorite as well.

]]> By: Jen http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/comment-page-1/#comment-1116 Jen Wed, 29 Jul 2009 02:09:36 +0000 http://www.houndrat.com/?p=194#comment-1116 lol, so loved this! The voice is so fun to read and gives you a good perspective, even in this short snippet. lol, so loved this! The voice is so fun to read and gives you a good perspective, even in this short snippet.

]]> By: Tracey http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/comment-page-1/#comment-1115 Tracey Wed, 29 Jul 2009 00:24:24 +0000 http://www.houndrat.com/?p=194#comment-1115 Your voice in this story rocks. Love the Lifetime line! And I think JM has a good point about the dialogue. Switching the order around will drive home the point, and it will also help the beat which felt a little off. Your voice in this story rocks. Love the Lifetime line! And I think JM has a good point about the dialogue. Switching the order around will drive home the point, and it will also help the beat which felt a little off.

]]> By: JM Donahue http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/comment-page-1/#comment-1114 JM Donahue Tue, 28 Jul 2009 20:59:11 +0000 http://www.houndrat.com/?p=194#comment-1114 Ha, this made me smile. I really like the voice here, and I get a good sense of the setting and the emotions. I wondered about this line: “Hardly. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. Jackass,” I added, to let him know I wasn’t going too soft. I feel like you need a pause between "okay" and the "Jackass" bit, it seems like that would help reinforce your point about her tacking it on at the end for the reason she outlines. Overall, nice job. I really like the playfulness between these two - lots of chemistry here ;) Ha, this made me smile. I really like the voice here, and I get a good sense of the setting and the emotions.

I wondered about this line:

“Hardly. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. Jackass,” I added, to let him know I wasn’t going too soft.

I feel like you need a pause between “okay” and the “Jackass” bit, it seems like that would help reinforce your point about her tacking it on at the end for the reason she outlines.

Overall, nice job. I really like the playfulness between these two – lots of chemistry here ;)

]]> By: justme http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/comment-page-1/#comment-1113 justme Tue, 28 Jul 2009 20:53:08 +0000 http://www.houndrat.com/?p=194#comment-1113 Love the voice. And the dialogue. Love the voice. And the dialogue.

]]> By: Leigh http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/comment-page-1/#comment-1112 Leigh Tue, 28 Jul 2009 20:04:22 +0000 http://www.houndrat.com/?p=194#comment-1112 I really liked this! I wish I knew what happened to but him in the hospital. I really liked this! I wish I knew what happened to but him in the hospital.

]]> By: hope101 http://www.houndrat.com/2009/07/28/teaser-tuesday-possible-cut-scene-from-the-demon-guard/comment-page-1/#comment-1111 hope101 Tue, 28 Jul 2009 19:39:01 +0000 http://www.houndrat.com/?p=194#comment-1111 I've missed the setup to this scene, but you've sure got a great YA voice, lady! Loved the same line as Steve. I’ve missed the setup to this scene, but you’ve sure got a great YA voice, lady! Loved the same line as Steve.

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