Teaser–The Demon Guard
Posted by houndrat on Tuesday Jul 14, 2009 Under writingOkay, posting this excerpt. Quite a contrast to the tone of the one last week, I think. Keep in mind, it’s the roughest yet–I need to go back and edit some of the cliches, etc. That said, I’ll go ahead and post it. Cheers!
“Hey, I need you to help me out. Quick!” I hissed, jerking Cody’s sleeve.
“Asking works, too. What could possibly be so urgent that you have to rip my shirt to tell me?”
“I need a decoy.”
His brow creased. “You mean, like a duck?”
“What the—no, not a duck. Freak.” I choked back a laugh, in spite of my jittery nerves. “I need someone to—crap! Here he comes. Look, just follow my lead, I don’t have time—“ I broke off and smashed my body against his, pressing my lips up to his mouth.
He froze, his arms stiff metal rods at his side. Wrapping my own arms around his neck, I tried sending him a mental message to do the same. It failed. “Put your arms around me—they’re coming, ” I hissed. Still no response. Finally, in desperation, I kicked him in the shin.
“Oof!” But at least he got the clue. Well, sort of. He rested his hands ever-so-gingerly on my hips. Like if he held me closer, I might infect him with flesh-eating bacteria.
I held my breath against Cody’s stiff lips as Nate’s and Kenzie’s footsteps thudded closer, then paused. After several tense moments, the footsteps finally retreated. I shoved Cody away and expelled a disgusted sigh.
“Okay, that was seriously the lamest fake kiss—or any kiss, for that matter—that I’ve ever seen or experienced in my entire life. What, do I smell bad or something?” I raised my arm and sniffed, but the only aroma tickling my nose was the cherry blossom scent of my deodorant. I frowned. Maybe he had an aversion to fruit.
Cody scrambled two steps back, his face registering shock. “No, it’s not that, it’s—what the heck was that, anyway? I thought I made it clear that we’re just friends.”
I threw my hands in the air. “You idiot—I was trying to scare Nate away. But still—that was weak. I mean, I just sort of figured—“ I stopped, realizing how conceited that sounded. No need to humiliate myself further. Unfortunately, Cody took up where I left off.
He leaned back against the stone wall, amusement starting to chase the surprise from his face. “You figured what, exactly? That I’d be thrilled to kiss you? Sorry, but you’re not really my type. Oh, don’t worry—there’s nothing wrong with you.” His smile turned derisive. “It’s me. I’m just into someone else.”
“Wait—oh my God—it’s Allie, isn’t it? I knew it! That would be so cool, the two of you as a couple. Only—you can’t have date nights every night, because what would I do?”
He broke in before I could go off again. “No, it’s not her.”
“Then who?” A hideous thought had my stomach lurching. “Please, tell me it’s not Steph. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, but I figured you had too much taste to fall for that Barbie hair and freakishly perfect body.”
He shook his head in exasperation. “No, it’s not her either. If you must know, it’s—“ He studied me for a moment, took a deep breath, then blurted it out. “Nate. I have a crush on Nate.”
My mind went blank. It was like I heard his words, but somehow, they just didn’t compute. “As in, Nate Nate? Boy Nate? My ex-Nate?”
“Yes, as in that Nate. I guess I should have told you this before, but I’m so used to keeping it secret, it was hard for me to let it out. Summer—I’m gay.”
I felt my jaw muscles working, but no sound made its way past my suddenly flaccid tongue. Finally, I managed one measly squeak. “Huh?” And then, my speaking-ability returned. Unforunately. Because I cringed when I heard the words that escaped my mouth. “But—you don’t even like Bravo TV!”
July 14th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“But you don’t even like Bravo TV” hahahahahahahaha That’s brilliant!
I’m going to be chuckling all day with this one. I love it. It’s really lively and it sparkles (in a non-Edward-the-Vampire-way).
July 14th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Great scene and I love the dialogue. Very humorous exchange and the last line is priceless. Well done.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
A good way to set up this revelation. Thanks for posting this.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:05 am
ROFLMAO!!!! That last line was GORGEOUS!!!! Brilliant! So, so perfect!
I love the tension and everything, it’s so awesome! Especially the humor that you convey so easily, even in the tense situations.
I wanna beta this one!
*cries… pouts… winks*
July 21st, 2009 at 11:09 am
Good god, I just spit red tea all over my monitor. Hilarious.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:20 am
Oh, this is a LOT of fun. I assume I’m missing some key joke by not knowing what “Bravo TV” is, but the rest is delightful.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:25 am
LMAO. So funny. Your great with dialogue.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:26 am
And I’m not so good with grammar. Meant to say you’re.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:39 am
lol! This book sounds like it’s going to be so much fun.
July 21st, 2009 at 1:15 pm
“But you don’t even like Bravo” is brilliant. Seriously brilliant. And like most of what you write, it sparkles. My only thought is that line where he outs himself was a little too pat. I’ve had several guys out themselves to me and it was significantly less matter of fact.
July 21st, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Thanks everyone! and Blond–yes! I was thinking that same thing, and plan to address it during revisions!
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Love the last line.
Very fun scene! I could totally see the awkwardness of the kiss and you have some great one-liners in there (the fruity deoderant, etc.)
Only thing: I need someone to — crap. Totally caught me out of the moment.
Good work!
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:52 pm
OMG–Marissa, that is so funny! I think it was a casuality of a last minute frantic edit, since this was so rough. Yes, I will definitely tweak that in revisions–YIKES!
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:38 pm
BWA!! Lovelovelove it. Funny and fast – I envy that. Beautifully done!
July 24th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Hound,
I knew we were kindred spirits right away and now that your teaser and my teaser for this week both have someone being kicked in them, I know we are of the same mind!! You are really good with YA dialogue. This was cute, sweet and funny!! Bravo on the last line, pun totally intended! Great stuff!!!!
xoxo — Hilary