Archives: 2008 August

You know how dogs possess preternatural powers of sensitivity in all the old animal stories?  Like whenever Timmy’s sick, Lassie mopes for days, fretting about him while laying plastered by his bedside, until at long last his fever breaks and she’s instantly joyful again?  Well I’m hear to tell you, when it comes to Ridgebacks, it’s all [...]

So I know I’m supposed to tell the story of my husband nearly castrating his finger after smashing our glass coffee table while watching the kiddage, but I have like zero time.  After staying up until 4:00 am–4:00 AM–on Saturday night for my 20 year high school reunion, I am pretty much a zombie right [...]

Today started out much the same as any other day except that my husband stayed home from work. Why?Because the two of us have turned procrastination into an art form.
In a roundabout way, my husand took a day off work due to our failure to file our ‘07 taxes.  You may remember that we, or more correctly, I, birthed our second [...]

Dear Meaningful Beauty:
I regret having to inform you that your beauty products suck balls.  After slathering on copious amounts of your face creams and washes for a month, I look nothing more like Cindy Crawford than I did before I started.  In fact, I’m reasonably certain had I poured said products on my buttocks, I would be just as close to my end [...]

I wasn’t going to say anything.  I really wasn’t.  But the more I think about it, the more I’m just so completely dumbfounded by the absolute retardedness of it all that I can’t possibly keep quiet.
So Friday afternoon I get an email from my husband at work. Here’s the email:
Subject: Damn, My Shirt has been Inside Out ALL DAY!

I [...]

And just when you thought nothing could get more random that synchronized diving, we decided to celebrate the Olympics at our house by starting a brand new sport:  co-ed naked trampoline bouncing.  Although I’m thinking certain anatomical challenges might make this sport less than attractive for the adult male population of our species.  Plus there’s the FCC to consider.  [...]

You never know when life is going to throw you a curve ball. Take Skye, for instance.
One day, she’s basking in the sun without a care in the world:

The next, disaster strikes in the form of an absent hot tub cover:

It’s like the epitomy of the Project Runway slogan, only in reverse: One day [...]

I don’t mind the fact that hubby routinely wakes me up at 5:30 a.m. by cracking his knuckles so loudly I bolt upright in bed, sure that a SWAT team assault is under way. (Okay, actually I do mind. Although perhaps halting the espionage reading right before bed wouldn’t hurt.)
It’s also beyond me how [...]

This past Sunday, ten moms plus one taken woman booked a suite at the Marriott in downtown San Diego, used that as home base, then went out on the town for a night of drunken debauchery and badness.  Okay, so maybe there wasn’t much debauchery, but there was plenty of badness in the form of our alcohol-infused stumbling gyrations [...]

I had my monthly Bunco game last night. Although supposedly a dice game, what Bunco really represents is a thinly veiled excuse for a bunch of women to escape from the old homestead and drink beer (and in last night’s case, margaritas and Mojitos).  Our group consists mostly of moms which basically means our games rate higher on the [...]