I Got Published, and A Day in the Life of Fergie

Not too long ago, I sent in an article to eharmony, in hopes of getting a writing gig.  Guess what?  I-Got-Published!

Okay, so it’s not like I’m going to be short-listed for the Pulitzer or anything.  Or even that I finally  finished that heinous romance novel I started over five years ago (poor Drake and Sophie–they at least deserve some kind of closure!) 

But I’m excited about it anyway.  Besides, as a mom, I’ve been pretty much indoctrinated in how to celebrate the mundane.  Such as all those times I cheered like a crazy woman upon discovering poop in the potty.  Or when I do the happy dance because my son chooses a tissue upon which to wipe his weeping mucous membranes, rather than his sleeve.  Or the couch.  Or even the hound dogs (poor Skye). 

I mean, surely, if human feces and boogers can make me pump my fist in triumph, then you can pretty much guarantee I can get excited about anything. 

So awhile ago, I wrote an article on dating (yeah, funny one, I know) in San Diego.  As it turns out, they chose nine writers out of over a thousand submissions, and for some crazy reason, I happened to be one of them.  And, I’m actually getting PAID to do it.

Without further ado, here is the link to my article.  Actually, there’s just a teensy weensy little more ado to be had.  A small precaution, really—you see, here’s the part where I tell you how truly awful my article is, in the hopes that your diminished expectations might be ever-so-slightly exceeded.  Seriously, though, if you’re seeking an introspective, erudite discussion on the philosophy and conundrums of procuring romantic partners in Southern California, you shouldn’t even think for a millisecond about clicking this link but instead, make a beeline for your local library (Only, don’t check out fifty books and then promptly forget about them for over two months.  As I recently discovered, librarian types tend to frown on that.  Plus, you can buy your own bookstore for less than the overdue fees.)

http://advice.eharmony.com/article/the-top-10-guide-to-dating-in-san-diego

And, since my brain doesn’t understand the term “linear” at all, here are some photos that have absolutely nothing to do with dating in San Diego.   I caught Fergie being, well, Fergie, about a few hundred times today. 

I like to call this ensemble, “A Day in the Life of Fergie:  So Many No-No’s, So Little Time.”

Hmmm, anything tasty by the sink?

The approach….

The kill….Um, hello, does she not see me standing RIGHT HERE???

Same bowl, different snack time.  Are you kidding me?  And I’m still standing RIGHT HERE!

And now for the trash:

What have we here?  Mommy’s used snot rag?  Score!

Aha–my favorite dessert!

I promise you, the dog really does get fed.  And sometimes, even digestable stuff.