Seriously, do you think I could make up something this insane?  I’m warped, but not that warped.  (And no, my degree of warpedness is not up for debate).

I mean, I could maybe see suing Victoria’s Secret for causing undue distress to my body image (Have you seen those commercials?  Women who look like that should be banned from our planet), or possibly for the butt-floss they masquerade as undies causing a hideous case of hemrrhoids, but eye damage?  Puh-lease. 

Just to be safe, though, maybe VS should put a warning on their labels.  Something like “Caution–not for use as eye-wear” or “Create G-string slingshot at your own risk”.

The moral of this story?  That’s a no-brainer.  Next time, buy less “eye-catching” lingerie.