~Day 10: If Ed Burns Golfs as Well as He Acts, I’ll School Him

Posted by Scott Driza on Thursday Jun 5, 2008 Under husbands

I’ve basically missed the last week. I think it is day 10. In any event it has been a long time. A lot has happened in the last week:

  • ? Promised wife to stop hijacking her blog.
  • ? Played golf.
  • ? Fasted. (Ate nothing but beer and pretzels for almost four hours one afternoon.)
  • ? Quit Fasting – ate a nice cut of prime rib.
  • ? Driving Range.
  • ? Watched Lakers Win West.
  • ? Putting Green.
  • ? Watched Celtics Win East.
  • ? Played More Golf.

I also connected with an old friend who made me realize how lucky I am to have such a wonderful wife and healthy children. Our conversation reminded me what a great relationship my wife and I have. Strangely, it also made me think of . . . . golf? Then my mind wandered and I forgot why I called and realized I wasn’t listening to my old friend anymore and made me feign static (“CZSHHHHH – do you hear that?”) and I got off the call.

So anyway, one of my guilty pleasures while my wife is away is to watch really bad horror movies. I fired up our Pay-Per-View box and found “One Missed Call” with Edward Burns. The SPOOKY subtitle asks the question, “WHAT WILL IT SOUND LIKE WHEN YOU DIE?”

I contemplated this for a minute but again found myself thinking about golf. I wondered if Edward Burns plays golf?

Anyway, it seems that all the best horror movies always have unknown people (at least to me). I had heard of “Edward Burns” before, so I paused a bit – then realized I couldn’t name a single movie he was in. (I bet I can hit a golf ball a lot farther than Edward Burns.)

I felt better. I rented it. Here is my official movie review:

One Missed Call

Another remake of a smash hit Japanese horror movie. I can only imagine that these do not translate well… This movie was not good. Or maybe the Japanese Edward Burns is better…

The premise of the movie is that a person dies in a horribly tragic manner – leaving a cell phone message AFTER their death. Then the recipient of the message does the same (that is, dies and leaves post mortem message for another friend and friend subsequently dies and so on).

The first two people died relatively quickly: one fell in front of a train - the other was speared by a long metal pole (not a golf club, but about the same length).

Then the story begins to focus on the two main protaganists: (1) cop [Ed B] working on case tied to the cell phone deaths, and (2) next friend to receive call. They then have an exorcism for a cell phone (no I’m not kidding).

At this point I lost consciousness for several minutes.

When I returned, I was horribly confused. This movie? had nothing to do with golf.

Edward Burns must owe some big gambling debts.

I wonder if he wants a dog?

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