While peacefully sleeping and dreaming last night (no children or snoring wife), I contemplated the beloved Rhodesian Ridgeback…

[First - a little personal philosophy]

I strongly advocate putting resources to their highest and best use.  Some people see a rainforest, I see a Tom Fazio golf course with free Lemurs  for a hole in one. (No one really likes Lemurs anyway.)

Anyway………so, I’m laying in bed and a great idea hit me. Ridgebacks don’t really like the whole dog show thing. It’s expensive, wastes gas and causes unnecessary stress for all involved. So, what is the highest and best use of a Ridgeback? I momentarily thought of a fur coat. Sure, they’d be expensive (profitable) but so many other animals are already used for fur coats. It’s simply not novel.

Clearly, the Ridgeback was put on this earth for a reason. That reason is billiards (pool)! Although, I’m not a billiards fan, it’s absurdly obvious that the best use for a Ridgeback is as a pool table cover.

Their fur is so short. So supple…… (resilient too – maybe some ScotchGuard?)

Why use felt when Ridgeback is so much more elegant? All the best homes should have a Ridgeback pool table. I’ve contacted Better Homes and Gardens. Here are the rough plans.

1. Take one Rhodesian Ridgeback between 4-6 years of age (fully grown, but not yet discolored by age).

2. Mark the appropriate sections to discard.

3. Get rid of the waste product.

4. Find a proper size pool table.

5. Apply Ridgeback Fur and Voila!

Okay, maybe I have too much time on my hands with them being out of town. Maybe it is time for some Charles Bronson movies…..