Archives: 2008 May

I’m not sure what to do. There appears to be no food left in the house.
I just finished the last container of Cool Whip and attempted to wash it down with some diluted Clover Honey. Yuck. Cooking Wine = Even Worse!

The only other food has white fuzz on it which I’m pretty sure is a bad sign. Even [...]

I’ve decided to start fasting. Eating just makes too much of a mess.  

I tried recruiting the help of my dog. Nada. More evidence that dogs are worthless. He just sat in the sink giving me “the look.” Dogowners everywhere can surely appreciate the “I’m Not Amused” look that you come to know and love. 

Well, time to [...]

My wife has a fondness for taking pictures of my underwear and posting them online. She views my dirty underwear as an inconvenience when she is trying to clean the house.
I view them as art.

Warhol Ridgebacks Enhanced

Why watch American Idol when you can watch my underwear? (I particularly like this piece as the workout moisture gives [...]

While peacefully sleeping and dreaming last night (no children or snoring wife), I contemplated the beloved Rhodesian Ridgeback…
[First - a little personal philosophy]
I strongly advocate putting resources to their highest and best use.  Some people see a rainforest, I see a Tom Fazio golf course with free Lemurs  for a hole in one. (No one [...]

As some of you may know, my wife and children left today to go to a dog show in Utah (PARTY - DEPRAVITY!). This means that she has no control over this blog for the next couple of days. This also means that I am left at home alone. Sure, I miss them already…..but I [...]

Batman has the Joker.  Spiderman has the Green Goblin.  Paula Abdul has Simon. 
And me?  Well, for starters, my nemesis isn’t a person.  It’s a thing.  A place, really.  Sort of a household destination, if you will—one that nobody enjoys visiting for long.  It’s……our laundry room.
Okay, so maybe my arch enemy isn’t as glamorous or exciting as most, but [...]

This morning, I turned on my TV to nurse.  And almost dropped my baby. The cacophony emitting from the usually tame Today show nearly shattered my sliding glass doors.    Simultaneously, I tried to cover my ears, juggle my nursling, and grab the remote and frantically inch the volume down to a safe level (although in retrospect, [...]

I think my background in show dogs has really warped me (hubby would be happy to agree).  I mean, I know most parents notice little genetic things they’ve passed on, things like blue eyes, curly hair, etc.  But are we supposed to notice the totally random, not-so-cute stuff?  Because I do.  Much to my chargrin.  And I figure [...]

Wow, nobody bothered to inform me we have a new spot for storing our peanut butter.  I know—maybe hubby was trying to consolidate the sandwich-making process.

If you judge the merit of your days based on the number of yummies consumed (which I often do),then Mom’s Day was a resounding success around here.
Let’s see—there was the chocolate shake at Ruby’s for lunch (my favorite chocolate shake in the whole wide world), then a Cold Stone cheesecake and berry ice cream right after dinner [...]