Baby Breakthough!

Posted by houndrat on Saturday Mar 8, 2008 Under babies, family life, naps, parenting

Why am I jumping up and down with glee?? Because together, my miraculous, wonderful, brilliant daughter and I finally mastered the most? crucial of developmental milestones.? The grandaddy of them all.? The motherload.

For all you newbies out there—no, I’m not talking about walking, talking, or feeding herself.? Why on earth would I be excited about any of those?? Let’s see—walking?? Hmmm, I get to child-proof my home and follow her around hoping she doesn’t bonk her head every other minute.? Or knock over knick-knacks (except we got rid of all those with baby number one).? Or eat toilet paper holders? (no, wait, that’s Fergie, my chewing-challeged Ridgeback puppy).? Talking?? I figure the sooner they talk, the sooner I get to hear “No! No!? No!” and “Mine! Mine! Mine!”? As for feeding themselves—well, maybe you need a little more laundry to do, but my basket is full, thank you very much.?

So what AM I referring to?? Why, the baby transfer, of course!? In case you newbies still aren’t catching on, let me enlighten you—the baby transfer is one of the single most? life-altering skills? you? and your child? can achieve within the first few months.

Oh, it sounds simple enough–you take one sleeping baby from Point A (their car seat), and deposit the same sleeping baby at Point B (their crib/your bed/any designated nap spot).? But in reality, it’s about as simple as solving nuclear physics problems.? After going on a bender involving multiple tequila shots.? And some Boone’s Farm.

See, the key term involved here is “sleeping”.? Obviously, any? fool with a pair of arms? can transfer a baby from their car seat to the crib.? But when you add the “sleeping” requirement?? Then it’s a whole? ‘nuther ball game.? And trust me–you don’t want to fumble this one.

So? big deal if your? baby can’t transfer, you say?? Let me go over the options, oh-short-sighted-one.? If your baby never learns this amazing feat, then you are destined to one of two things:? a) a home-bound existence, because your baby becomes so cranky from missing naps that you end up agoraphobic and never leave your house again, except in the rare event of a large? alien invasion? or phone call from Brad Pitt inviting you to run away with him? or b) spending upwards of ten hours each week just sitting in or next to your idling car, twiddling your thumbs and? being forced to listen to “soundscapes” on infinite repeat? while your baby snoozes in the backseat.

So, unless you want to be parking your happy hiney in the driveway next to your? dozing child for hours on end, on a daily basis, until your kid finally gives up their nap (mine is four and still napping, if that’s helpful), then let me assure you, this is the milestone you don’t want to miss.? ? Really.

And that’s why I’m jumping for joy.?

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2 Responses to “Baby Breakthough!”

  1. lorien Says:

    That is a big one, congrats!

  2. Chantal Says:

    I am so happy for you!
    I know excactly what your talking about,
    Facienne(my baby) is 2 months old,and I
    finally get some sleep!I think that the
    real breaktrough is when mommy and daddy
    can sleep too!!

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